I'm so proud of you boo. And give yourself grace, always. Like you said, you're human. And you've had to live in this world that ingrains these thoughts in us. Thank you for sharing this.
A wonderfully honest essay, thank you for sharing it! Of course all of us want to be treated nicely by society, nothing about that is superficial. I'm sorry about the bullying you experienced, it would naturally make you fear gaining any more weight. If only people learned to mind their own business and not have their judgement of others so dictated by beauty standards.
Heeey this was so powerful!!! 🔥 thank you for sharing this with us. Skinny people, we are disgusting and treat fat people cery poorly. We are all learning how to deconstruct our biases
Anti-fatness is brutal. It is the root cause of the stigma we face and then because we don’t have any other narratives we internalize it. It’s a critical step to realize this and be working on it. The stigma and desire to be thinner to avoid the stigma and abuse from anti-fat hate is a social problem and not our fault. So glad you’re on the journey with so many of us to combat anti-fat hate in society.
I love the vulnerability and humanity in this. Sometimes it’s a hard pill to swallow when you see yourself easily fall into the behaviors that contribute to the cloak of invisibility that only other fat people (🙋🏽♀️) understand. All of this creates the perfectly imperfect humans we are- thank you for sharing your words!
I feel this, although I shouldn’t. I’ve never been considered “fat” at most it was just mildly chubby, but I developed a fear of becoming unhealthily fat. When I looked at a morbidly obese person, I realised one day that my disgust wasn’t actually disgust, it was fear and pity. I feel so sorry to people who became that way unwillingly and get blamed for it since it could be due to health problems or mental health issues, I’m scared of not being able to move and being discriminated because of it and unknowingly I became unhealthily thin. When I became underweight I suddenly got loads of compliments and it made me even more afraid of gaining weight since in essence losing weight is considered disciplined and gaining it is considered the opposite.
I hope I’m not overstepping or you don’t find it rude, if so I’ll delete it immediately. You are strong, you’re journey has been so difficult and you’re really pulling through ❤️
I see you. Thank you for being vulnerable and talking truth. I don’t have the right words, but just know that your voice is important. I’m so glad I stumbled onto your Substack.
This was difficult to read, but it's very true for many people. It's ingrained in us to hate certain things, but there's a deeper, uncomfortable reason behind it. Give yourself grace, and also find peace within yourself. Even though I'm plus-sized, I don’t feel that way, but others seem determined to make me feel otherwise. We have so much to live for in life; internal dread isn't one of them. You deserve so much. Keep going, growing, and learning.
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly and honestly. It’s incredibly brave to confront not only the external biases but also the internalized ones, especially when they come with so much history and pain. Your story is such a powerful reminder of how deeply societal standards impact us, and how much work it takes to unlearn those harmful narratives. I love that you’re choosing to be gentle with yourself in his process - it’s not easy, but it’s so necessary. Sending you so much respect and support as you navigate this messy, beautiful journey. 💛
Thank you so much for sharing this. Your vulnerability and honesty are powerful, and it really resonated with me. I recently had to check myself, too. Being fat and having fatphobic thoughts is something I’ve had to confront within myself. It’s such a difficult and messy process to unlearn these biases while showing ourselves grace in the journey.
Reading your experience reminded me that we’re all human, and this kind of growth takes time and patience. Your words are a reminder to be kinder to ourselves and to keep challenging those harmful narratives. Thank you for being so open 🤎🤎🤎
The abused to abuser pipeline is called a pipeline for a reason. You can fall down it very easily by treating people exactly how you’ve been treated. Clocking it on your own without someone else clocking you is a massive achievement that you should be very proud of!
Thank you for this. I’ve also gone up and down in weight throughout my life, largely due to bouts of eating disorder symptoms, and the difference in treatment is CRAZY. It always makes me feel simultaneously amazing and disgusted when I’m treated better because I am smaller. Right now, I’m in a bigger body, so I feel the internalized shame even though people don’t outwardly say anything to my face. It’s the way the world is designed for smaller bodies. How I’m reminded that my size isn’t acceptable every time I board a plane, or try to scoot past people in a narrow theater aisle. It’s good to know others also feel the same, though I wish we weren’t made to feel it. Sending you love ❤️
I'm so proud of you boo. And give yourself grace, always. Like you said, you're human. And you've had to live in this world that ingrains these thoughts in us. Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks fave. I’m so proud of you, and to be on this journey with you.
A wonderfully honest essay, thank you for sharing it! Of course all of us want to be treated nicely by society, nothing about that is superficial. I'm sorry about the bullying you experienced, it would naturally make you fear gaining any more weight. If only people learned to mind their own business and not have their judgement of others so dictated by beauty standards.
It would be nice if people were taught to think for themselves 😔
Heeey this was so powerful!!! 🔥 thank you for sharing this with us. Skinny people, we are disgusting and treat fat people cery poorly. We are all learning how to deconstruct our biases
Thank you so much for reading and affirming.
Anti-fatness is brutal. It is the root cause of the stigma we face and then because we don’t have any other narratives we internalize it. It’s a critical step to realize this and be working on it. The stigma and desire to be thinner to avoid the stigma and abuse from anti-fat hate is a social problem and not our fault. So glad you’re on the journey with so many of us to combat anti-fat hate in society.
I love the vulnerability and humanity in this. Sometimes it’s a hard pill to swallow when you see yourself easily fall into the behaviors that contribute to the cloak of invisibility that only other fat people (🙋🏽♀️) understand. All of this creates the perfectly imperfect humans we are- thank you for sharing your words!
Beautiful essay. Thank you for sharing. You are beautiful in all your wavelengths of weight.
Proud of you! This is beautiful, and the balance of accountability and grace is even more so. Thank you for sharing🫂
I feel this, although I shouldn’t. I’ve never been considered “fat” at most it was just mildly chubby, but I developed a fear of becoming unhealthily fat. When I looked at a morbidly obese person, I realised one day that my disgust wasn’t actually disgust, it was fear and pity. I feel so sorry to people who became that way unwillingly and get blamed for it since it could be due to health problems or mental health issues, I’m scared of not being able to move and being discriminated because of it and unknowingly I became unhealthily thin. When I became underweight I suddenly got loads of compliments and it made me even more afraid of gaining weight since in essence losing weight is considered disciplined and gaining it is considered the opposite.
I hope I’m not overstepping or you don’t find it rude, if so I’ll delete it immediately. You are strong, you’re journey has been so difficult and you’re really pulling through ❤️
I see you. Thank you for being vulnerable and talking truth. I don’t have the right words, but just know that your voice is important. I’m so glad I stumbled onto your Substack.
This was difficult to read, but it's very true for many people. It's ingrained in us to hate certain things, but there's a deeper, uncomfortable reason behind it. Give yourself grace, and also find peace within yourself. Even though I'm plus-sized, I don’t feel that way, but others seem determined to make me feel otherwise. We have so much to live for in life; internal dread isn't one of them. You deserve so much. Keep going, growing, and learning.
This was so real, vulnerable, and honest. Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciated reading it.
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly and honestly. It’s incredibly brave to confront not only the external biases but also the internalized ones, especially when they come with so much history and pain. Your story is such a powerful reminder of how deeply societal standards impact us, and how much work it takes to unlearn those harmful narratives. I love that you’re choosing to be gentle with yourself in his process - it’s not easy, but it’s so necessary. Sending you so much respect and support as you navigate this messy, beautiful journey. 💛
Thank you so much for sharing this. Your vulnerability and honesty are powerful, and it really resonated with me. I recently had to check myself, too. Being fat and having fatphobic thoughts is something I’ve had to confront within myself. It’s such a difficult and messy process to unlearn these biases while showing ourselves grace in the journey.
Reading your experience reminded me that we’re all human, and this kind of growth takes time and patience. Your words are a reminder to be kinder to ourselves and to keep challenging those harmful narratives. Thank you for being so open 🤎🤎🤎
Im so glad you liked it. Your comment is so affirming ❤️
Really brave Brittany! Thanks for sharing!! Keep loving yourself and your old self because she is so much of who you are today!! Sending love!!❤️
Will do boo ❤️
The abused to abuser pipeline is called a pipeline for a reason. You can fall down it very easily by treating people exactly how you’ve been treated. Clocking it on your own without someone else clocking you is a massive achievement that you should be very proud of!
Thank you for this. I’ve also gone up and down in weight throughout my life, largely due to bouts of eating disorder symptoms, and the difference in treatment is CRAZY. It always makes me feel simultaneously amazing and disgusted when I’m treated better because I am smaller. Right now, I’m in a bigger body, so I feel the internalized shame even though people don’t outwardly say anything to my face. It’s the way the world is designed for smaller bodies. How I’m reminded that my size isn’t acceptable every time I board a plane, or try to scoot past people in a narrow theater aisle. It’s good to know others also feel the same, though I wish we weren’t made to feel it. Sending you love ❤️